Element 11 (the Utah Burn)/ Fibro crap

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Originally uploaded by Gwen Wolfrose

Last weekend was the Utah Burn otherwise known as Element 11. Like Burning Man but not as large. It's a 21 and over camping event where they make art projects and burn them bonfire style. They had five burns this year. I only made it to three... they were right in front of our camp and I didn't have to travel far to get to them. lol

I had UV reactive dreds in my hair. I was also three or thirty sheets into the wind by the time I took this photo.

In other news, I fired my doctor. I went in on Tuesday to get on Lyrica. He had a student working with him that day and had her see me. She ignored most everything I said. She asked me where I was hurting most that day and I told here around my elbows, the back of my neck and shoulders and down in my hips and lower back. She squeezed on my left elbow and asked if that made it hurt worse and of course it did, duh I can't stand for anything to touch me right now. She left the room and then came back to tell me the places I said I hurt aren't indicative of Fibro *rolls eyes* and so it must be arthritis. Then handed me a prescription for mobic which is a NSAID anti-inflammatory. Now last year the doctor told me never to take ibuprofen again because I have a bleeding ulcer. He signed off on this prescription. WTF? I knew better but I took it anyway. It made me sick of course and it didn't do a fucking thing for my pain.

So Parker goes up to the doctor's office the next day to complain. The nurse calls me later and tells me the doctor said to not take the mobic again (duh) and that he called in another scrip for my ulcer. She said to take that for a week and then let him know how I'm doing. I asked what about my pain problem. She said any anti-inflammatory would irritate my ulcer. I told her that the anti-inflammatory didn't do anything for my pain anyway could he at least give me more flexeril and loratab. She said she would ask. She called back a bit later and said he refused. *growl*

I asked for a referral to a specialist. I refuse to see that man again for ANYTHING!

Renn Faire, Fibro, and Fucktards oh my!

Ok so when last I left you I was squeeing about the Utah Renn Faire. So yeah, I went and had myself a grand time walking around in the dust spending money on garb which I look really awesome in. *squee* Went back the second weekend too.

Then I spent the next three days in bed (both times) because fibro sux. Still all hurty.

and then there is the fucktard factor...

I've posted before about how there is a Wiccan Church here in Salt Lake that collected a bunch of money from the community under the pretense that it was a fund to purchase land for the community which they then used to purchase a yurt and put in their Rev.'s back yard. So you guys know me, I've been plenty vocal about calling bullshit on it. This has been going on for about a year now and I doubt it will ever be resolved.

Well, last week someone posted the Charge of the Beeotch to a yahoo list called WestDesertWitchesWeb which was a local list but since a warlocked fucktard runs it and it's heavily moderated he had to open it up to anyone he could get to join it so now it's just another foo foo pagan list. One of the foo foo's on there is the Officer of Air for the a fore mentioned church which means she is responsible for xposting their events all over the place and keeping the minutes. She's also made a point of calling several people in the community liars because she doesn't agree with them even though they can back up what they've stated with documentation or witnesses. She's also stated that Parker, Giffin (the HP of my coven which is the oldest coven in Salt Lake), and I are not part of the community because we don't reside in Salt Lake. This is also a woman who wears fairy wings, the kind you get for kids on Halloween, to every event she attends because apparently she thinks she is one. This is a woman I've spoken to twice briefly. Well, when the Charge of the Beeotch was posted she had something to say... and I quote:

Sorry I have to comment on this post; I know the woman Who wrote this and in no way should anything she posts be promoted. I understand that it is public , but the integrity and position that this person holds in the Utah community leaves much to be desired.

Just my 2 cents. :P
BB Avalon

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

Like I said, I've spoken with Avalon TWICE. She does not know me. All she knows is that I have opinions she doesn't like and I won't shut the fuck up.

As to my position in the community, and it's really nice of her to acknowledge that I'm part of this community eh, I'm one of the Local Coodinators for Salt Lake Pagan Pride and I run the largest and most active Witches Meetup in Utah. What that leaves to be desired for her I guess is that I'm not going away. That leaves my integrity, sorry Avalon, I'm just not going to take money from people and use it for something else to make myself acceptable to your standards of integrity.

So that's what's going on in Kayote Land...

Today I learned...

Today I learned that apparently online only friends can't be dear friends. At least that is what I was told. It hurt, a lot. Some of my dearest friends are online friends that I've never met in person... or have only briefly met one time...

inannaliban, enyo, thorswitch, davensjournal, desdemmonna, ferelwing, herbmcsidhe, stephanielynch, jazdewills, teal_cuttlefish, lildrafire, magickalmoon, misslynx, pwnedkitten, rowansolasban, seshen, swisscelt... and others who aren't on LJ (and some who are I'm having brain fog from this stupid flare that is still going on) are all people I really care about and keep up with.

Maybe some people who aren't confined to a bed for days and sometimes weeks don't understand that these online relationships are the only contact with the outside world some people are able to have. Being disabled is quite lonesome at times. Sometimes the only real friend I have is a chihuahua who keeps me company while I'm curled up in pain. But I also have this laptop where I can reach out and interact with lots of people and in doing so I've found people I like and have formed relationships with and for me it doesn't matter that it's just words on a screen, it's human contact. I hurt all the same when I lose an online friend. I've been on the net long enough that I have had several online friends die and I cried all the same just as if I had physically met that person.

ok this flare can go away any time now...

FMS really sucks, big time! I'm still having this stupid flare but at least I did get the doctor to give me some loratab. So I'm on 10mg of flexeril and 5mg of loratab and it just dulls the pain... everyone wave at zombie Gwen. I do have to say something here for medical marijuana, if I had a bowl to smoke I wouldn't be hurting this bad. It really does help me more than taking these narcotics. *sigh* oh well... at least they knock me out so I can sleep.

Parker is really understanding my frustration with doctors now. I know how bad I hurt and he knows how bad I hurt but the doctors do not see me all the time like he does and do not know how much I really hurt. I mentioned this in a comment the other day, the doctors usually just want to treat my diabetes because they assume my pain is caused from diabetic neuropathy which in all honesty I have started to develop in my feet and hands but the FMS I had long before I developed diabetes. I've had FMS for about 17 years and I've been diabetic for about five years now.

I can't stand for very long because it hurts and I can't sit in one spot for long because it hurts. I toss and turn when laying down because it hurts. Some days it hurts just to breath. Sometimes, like now, I can not lift a plate because it hurts. Forget opening the cap on a bottled water.

I thank the gods everyday for sending me a man like Parker who is able to work from home so he can take care of me when I'm like this. I do not know what I would do without him. I can't even express in words what he means to me, he truly is the love of my life and my knight in shining armor. I am indeed a very blessed woman to be loved by such a wonderful man as my husband.

bad day

really bad day, feel like dying

doctor not in today so i'm only allowed the 10mg of flexeril he prescribed the last time i saw him

this is a curl up and cry all day day... i can't even lift a plate... killmenowplz